Dreamed During the Night, May 22, 2011:
I was at Adria's house, and she had all of her retirement paperwork on her dining room table. She was telling me that it is very difficult to fill out and file all of the paperwork, but she wanted to retire soon and was starting on it now. I looked around and saw all of the flowers that people gave her after her surgery, and they reminded me of the flowers that my boyfriend gave me when we first started dating. I stood beside the table and told her, "I can't wait to retire!"
In waking life I look forward to retiring and have actually uttered the above words to my father. He says retirement is not so great unless you make it great, and it's a big adjustment. I first thought this dream was about work, but I'm working on my own and looking for a different job, so I don't know if retirement has anything to do with my work situation.
I had gone to sleep with the idea that I would dream about a solution to my relationship issues with my boyfriend Ricky, and at first I didn't think this dream had much to do with him. When I really think about it, I want to "retire" from taking care of him and worrying about his problems. The flowers that people gave Adria were a sign of hope. She even said that every time a new flower bloomed, she felt more hopeful that things would turn out well. I think I was holding onto the dried flowers from my boyfriend and hoping that our relationship would get better.
My feelings about wanting to "retire" from my boyfriend were only confirmed today when I went out of my way to help him and he was ungrateful. I am traveling, otherwise I would have already removed the dried remnants of the flowers he gave me from my home shrine. I have a shrine with little things that have personal or spiritual significance, but now that we're breaking up, I desperately want to remove all traces of him. I am hurting and angry, but the thoughts of not having to take care of him and of getting off this emotional rollercoaster sound pretty appealing.
Now I need to think of a new issue to dream about.