Dreamed During the Night, June 3, 2011:
I was attending a black tie banquet for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. I couldn't understand why I had been invited because many of the people seemed to be players for the Brazilian team or their families. I wondered if someone from my family might play in the World Cup, but then I realized that no one in my family is athletic enough. I was sitting at a huge wooden table with friends and family, including: my college roommate Jill, my Portuguese teacher Benedito, my mother, my father and my cousin Andrew. Everyone was celebrating, and there was very loud music playing. Many of the attendees were drinking heavily, although I was not. I briefly talked to a Brazilian soccer player, who was wearing his uniform. We couldn't really communicate because my Portuguese and his English were both limited, but we smiled and he said something like, "Go Brazil!"
My father was being uncharacteristically loud and announcing that he was going to buy a special radio to listen to the games. I asked him why because I know that he hates the Olympics, and I've never heard of him having any interest in professional sports. He waved me off and kept talking loudly, so I excused myself to the restroom, and Jill joined me. Inside the restroom, I couldn't stop coughing. Jill tried to help me, but I was kind of annoyed because she was suffocating me. Sensing that I was annoyed, she said she would wait "right outside the door" for me to come out. I stayed inside the restroom forever because I wanted peace and quiet, and I didn't care if Jill had to wait.
I've been talking to Benedito about going to Brazil for the World Cup, even though I don't care about soccer. I would go for the experience of visiting Brazil and to practice my Portuguese. I don't know what the meaning of my father's behavior or the presence of Andrew or my mother means. Maybe my parents being there means I am not independent enough. I also kept trying to make myself relevant to my father, but he seemed indifferent about me, which has pretty much been our norm for the last 20 years. Jill does have a tendency to be overbearing in waking life, but she means well. The coughing part was probably a sign of my sleep apnea, but it could be symbolic of being "sick" of Jill being overly mothering and my father being an absent parent.