Life has been an adventure since both of my parents moved in with me. It has been a constant opportunity to practice patience. I have learned a lot during this experience, but I wish that I could unlearn some of it. Recently I've learned that my father text messages and speaks over the phone in a hushed voice after midnight. I feel very uncomfortable about the whole situation.
Recently at the Buddhist center, we were talking about relationships and attachment. People were suggesting that some relationships are healthy and can nurture both people, but sometimes people grow apart or cannot support each other in where they are at the moment in their lives. I understand this, although my Christian view of marriage from my childhood tells me that people stay married and stay faithful, no matter what. It's a delusion, but it's what I always believed. During my childhood, everyone under the sun got divorced, but not my parents.
Recently some married friends of mine were talking about marriage and fidelity and one of them said that if your partner is disabled and you feel that you must seek companionship elsewhere, even if you want to remain with the partner, you should do so discretely. She said that partners want each other to be happy and that if she were disabled, she'd want her partner to be happy but wouldn't want to see evidence of an affair. I completely agree with her. I think that people in these situations should do what they have to do in order to minimize suffering all the way around. It's just hard to swallow this when my mother is the sick partner and my father is seeking companionship elsewhere. All of this is between them, and it's really none of my business. Still, I feel bad for my mother.
Posted as part of Pink Saturday.