Sunday, July 17, 2011

Is This Karma?

Ball o' String © Hannah Chapman

You string me along
with lies that unravel, but
I tied up the truth.

A senryu posted as part of Haiku Heights #52: String.  Please also visit Haiku My Heart at Recuerda Mi Corazon for more haiku.

I'm having a very tough time emotionally because I just found out that my good friend/ex-boyfriend Keith is probably going back to jail. I told him a few years ago that he was going to end up dead from drugs or in prison.  He has mental health issues and addiction issues, and he can't seem to stop lying.  I hate watching him self-destruct before my eyes, and I hate that he constantly lies to me, but I have done everything that I can do, including distance myself.  When we were dating, our relationship was a perfect example of the evils of attachment.  Sometimes I wonder if the relationship that I have with him is just a cruel twist of fate or if this is what karma is.


18 comments:

beccagivens said...

Cleverly done - to go with the prompt and the current situation! Hoping Keith's life changes course soon ... lifting Keith in prayer!

haikulovesongs said...

LOVE your take on the prompt! ♥ i'm sorry about the situation with Keith. there's nothing you can do, Lola. he has to do it himself ~ he has to want it. a really tough time for you. *hugs* ♥ dani

Leo said...

I agree with Dani here, there is nothing you can do, he has to do it himself. Good take on the prompt!

Thank you for the support to Haiku Heights through the first year :) Looking forward to enjoying more of your haikus next year too!

Marit said...

A very moving and honest haiku ánd post. You really touched me

Magical Mystical Teacher said...

I have no answers to your questions, but I can tell you this: You have written a mighty fine haiku, mighty fine!

Dishita said...

So apt post congruous with your situation. Thank for your feedback, hopefully this time my haiku attempt was better than last time.

Dianne said...

"I tied up the truth." What a profound statement. What ever happens with or too your friend, just believe in yourself and be strong for yourself... He has to want to change and as cruel as it seems... maybe jail will get him clean. Hope and courage to you. Thanks so much for your comments and following my little blog.

rebecca said...

welcome to haiku my heart.

your haiku offering is raw with honesty,
image, words striking and bold.

dear lola,
having just met you....let me just say,
take care of your heart.

and return to ours...
so glad you are here.

Meri said...

I don't think your relationship with him is a cruel twist of fate. Perhaps you've had past lives that draw you together, perhaps it's a first-time relationship in which you both have things to teach each other. Could it be that he's a mirror for you so you can see places where you're not honest with yourself or where you self-sabotage? Where you get pulled off-center by your obsessions (perhaps obsessive attachments)? Where you disregard all your inner wisdom and do things that you know will end in disaster? Important people in our lives are there for a reason, but it's often hard to decipher what lessons we're supposed to be learning. You certainly have learned simply by observing how drugs and crime can ruin lives.

Leslie said...

along with others here, i applaud the honesty in your haiku, and the courage it must have taken to distance yourself from a destructive relationship. i don't know much about karma, but i do believe there is a God who loves us and who has good plans for our futures, as we seek Him...

Jingle Poetry said...

string along, tied up.

what a brilliant take. amazing Haiku.

Daffy's Dream said...

Very emotional post. I too believe in Karma.
Thanks for visiting my blog and for the lovely comments. I'm your new follower

DS said...

Karma is definitely there. If you do good to others then you will sow the rewards!
Great post, loved it:)

Ramesh Sood said...

You are a strong person and you have not only faced but tied the truth.. what else do you want.. its all OK.. life moves on.. to each as per his own..

Lola said...

Thank you all for being so supportive. It's amazing what a vibrant community forms on the web. There are some things here that I definitely needed to hear. I especially appreciate the prayers for Keith because I think he needs them.

One of the requirements of Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous is something along the lines of "establish a relationship with God/your higher power". I was talking to Keith about this recently, but I don't think he's ready to hear it.

Personally, I believe that if you don't nurture yourself spiritually and practice self-forgiveness, then you don't have much of a life. Even most people who have made an informed decision to be Agnostics or Atheists, have some sense of order in their lives and a belief system, even if the focus is mainly on science, psychology, sociology, etc. I even think those strong beliefs in science, etc. can constitute a "higher power" because it's something greater than just your own little world. For that matter, I would say many schools of Buddhism are agnostic.

What do you think? Can people really be happy without some type of belief in a higher power?

@Ramesh- Your comment was to the point, and I love it because you reminded me to stop wallowing in my own sadness, especially when Keith's problems are something that I cannot change. When I would complain as a child, sometimes my grandfather would say, "What else do you want," to remind me that life is pretty good, as is.

mindlovemisery said...

You've made the right choice distancing yourself. I have watched people destroy themselves and they will take you with them if you let them. Intense and powerful haiku filled with raw emotion

Christine said...

awesome haiku, love where you took this prompt

Nanka said...

I can see the pain you have gone through but you cannot destroy yourself as your friend needs professional help. Only he can walk out of the predicament he is in when he decides to do so!!

May God be with you always as you have tried your best!!